10 Solaces for a Kievaholic
By Kevin Ing


If you focused right, your 5x5 proof from 120 film will PROBABLY be sharper than the next guy's 4x6 print from his APS point-and-shoot.


Compare your 5x5 proof to a 4x6 print taken with a Leica M6 plus Summilux and laugh while saying, "Mine has less grain!"


Tell yourself at least once a day that brand names don't matter one bit.


If #3 didn't work, change your Kiev's nameplate to read something like "Hasselblad 88", "Pentax 66", or "Leica K6"


If #4 didn't work, use your Kiev to slug the jerk who laughs at you. They'll think twice before laughing at another Kievaholic.


Fondle your fast telephoto lenses and tell yourself that Hasselblad users only dream of such speed.


Tell yourself that, in theory, your camera is better than a Holga.


Feel good in thinking that you have helped some poor people in ex-communist countries with your purchases.


Sell your junk stuff to some sucker on eBay, then buy some other Kiev gear off of eBay and pray that it's better.


Quit Kievs cold turkey and take up watercolors instead. At least people will believe you when you call washed out colors, blurry images, uneven dark and light spots, and strange streaks across the paper "intentionally artistic".


May 23, 2001
Copyright © 2001 - Kevin Ing